I wish I could start this chapter yelling! My last day in the hostel it was like that: a big and loud scream. AHHHHHH!!!!!
But everything started in the night before. Amanda and Maria and Mustaphah came to the bar at night. Also K. and M. and Arnold. So I was happy serving all of them and they promise come back next night when, as I told them, it would be my last night. K. asked at what time I would leave and when I answered 5.30p.m, he said that I would not sleep then. Of course that thinking now I should be smart enough to decided celebrate the night before my last night because then in the actually last one I could have some rest and sleep.
In my last day I finish packing, I take a god nap, and I say goodbye for those ones who I would not see in the evening.
At night everything it is calm at the beginning. One guest offer me a beer and we start to talk because the bar it is almost empty. K. and M. are there also but K. it is not drinking. Only because of that already I have the feeling that the night would not be really good. Even when at some point it gets busy, Amanda and Maria and Mustaphah (with his girlfriend this time) arrive, I still have the feeling that it would be a simple night. Should I have done something different? Should I have been less serious (but still hard worker) and more crazy and funny? Now thinking, maybe I should. But I was also trying to be a good volunteer and I was doing my best and it was my first time working in a bar so…
K. pays me another beer and I take the opportunity to go eat my veggie burger. At the kitchen I said goodbye to Baia and Cheff and the young house keeper.
Back at the bar, Amanda and the group go to the pool table. I wish I could join them.
After a while the moment: the moment that made me think in how I still can get nervous and vulnerable and because of that do not act like I wish. For Loki’s sake, I am a twenty eight years old already! When I will be mature enough to control my feelings like that?
K. is just having a beer and when he is almost finishing I approach to offer him another. He refuses and say that the reason it is because if he does not go home now, Maureen would not give him sex. What? Yeah, that it is his answer. Why did he answer that? Was it because it is my last day so he felt free to be more informal? And when he repeated that information again, was he expecting that my answer would be different? Oh! I wish! As the same I wish I had answered something else… Something like – Oh, so if that is the reason why you have to leave, I can also help you with that. Laugh. Of course I had a few reasons to not have said that, like Frank was sitting just beside him, and if Frank had told him the episode about our night, he could answer “No you cannot!”. Laugh. Not that I think he would… Maybe he had no idea that I could have some crash on him. You know, I can hide my feelings very well. So yeah, I did not say anything in the two times he mentioned that. He offer me another drink and I made him pick something for me, which was Coke with Jack Daniels. Four shots of Jack Daniels!
When Kim is leaving, I give him a hug. To be honest, I do not feel anything. It could mean that I am only attracted by him in a physical way and not with feelings? Possibly. Gosh, I have really updated my heart in these 4 weeks here in the Hostel.
After Amanda and Maria and Mustaphah leave, just us from the bar remained plus Frank with two friends.
Suddenly, something really unexpected happen: I. gives me this fudge chocolate cake, with ice cream, as a goodbye gift. How the hell did he know it I love chocolate? There is something to do with the fact that Frank gave me some chocolate earlier and I told him? Anyway, not just me but all the girls are surprised by the act. And even more with the hug he gives me. It is a good and honest hug, and I really enjoyed. There will always be “this thing” I feel for him, a good feeling that makes me want him around. At that moment, maybe, it was the one of them I once liked.
Hugs, hugs, hugs and sad goodbyes. The girls all left with exception of Lenah, who decided go out with Josh. She even gave me the dress I borrowed from her the other night. How cute was that?
I am trying to play pool with Faise but I am even more horrible than I usually am. Maybe it is because I am kind of sad.
When Frank and his friends decide to leave, they come to say goodbye. Frank’s hug it is good but it is actually when he kisses my cheek that I had a flash back of our night. He say he still owns me a ride in his motorbike, that could be paid maybe in another time in another country.
I decide I should try to sleep so I say the lasts goodbyes to Faise and Sev. I could not finished my drink.
I think I slept one hour or something. Why did I drink? Could I have had a good night of sleep if I had not? Maybe.
After taking my bags down stairs, I prepare two peanut butter and jam sandwiches and I leave.
I leave around 5.20 a.m and he guys are still awake.
While walking to the Matatu spot, I though for a moment – It is OK if you stop your travels now, is not? You already visited a few different countries. It is enough. Nobody in Brazil could have ever imagine you would come this far.
But I do not want to stop.
Soon a Matatu stops and I arrive in town before 6 a.m.
After asking around, I find the bus company place and in a few minutes I am on my way to Tanga.
P.S.: Mombasa is a nice town to visit and going around. Be careful with the parks! You cannot seat in the grass! The old town and historical centre it is quite interesting. But be aware of the rubbish everywhere…
