10th of June to 14th of July, 2019.
To write about Katzrin is still difficult. It is weird. It is like I cannot believe yet that I am not there anymore. And that I will not come back…
When Eran drops me in the road, a guy picked me up quickly but he just drops me in a better place. Then this other guy stops and he says he is going closer Katzrin. We keep talking and when I realize, he drives over 40 minutes out of his route just to drops me in Katzrin. I am shocked! People are fucking amazing with foreigners here?
So I get in the hostel and apparently there is no one around. The door is closed so I sit outside at the balcony and wait. I eat the most common snack around here, a Peanut Butter chips, that the nice driver bought me. Delicious! After about 20 minutes they arrive.
I meet Yael and Alon (the owners) and Floor (the volunteer from Netherlands who I am coming to replace). They are all very sweet and welcome and we star to talk a lot already. Then Yael starts to show me a little bit, here and there, about the place and my duties.
In the evening, they advise me to go to a small stream nearby, where I can swim a bit and after that I will go to the sunset spot. The way to the stream spot is beautiful, with a wonderful view and the small waterfall at some point of the stream is cute. At the sunset spot I find Alon. I remember pretty well because it is the first time I think about him in a different way and I start to believe that he is thinking about me like that as well. Sweet stupid illusion.
In the next morning he is the one responsible for teach me the stuff: how to make the pancakes, where and how to clean up the place, and some more stuff.
Everything it flues pretty well and I start to work in some art projects around the hostel, inside and outside. Awesome!
In one of my firsts off shift, I join two volunteers from another hostel, who are staying with us (this is one of so many amazing things about Israel: if you volunteer in a Hostel, you get one night for free in a lot of different Hostels around the country, uncountable times, while you are volunteering!), to go to the second most famous waterfall around: Zavitan! We have a lot of thoughts in common so we have a lot of fun and a great time together. Until this crazy fucking guard approach us, in a very weird way, showing us a picture and asking if those three people were us. Of course it were us! So he keeps saying that we need to pay the fee for the park but is not able to have a decent conversation since his English is very poor. So I decide stop arguing with him and just leave the park later without paying. The girls were a little concern about being caught in some how and to have problems in the airport when they were about to leave. Of course nothing happen and we just left. But this stupid event killed my mood a bit. It shouldn’t, I know.
Floor needs to leave. She is such a awesome person! She is funny and kind and lovely. It is my first experience of working together with other volunteers, and I love it! One day before Floor leave, we go all together to a spring and drink some beer, eat some pop corn, and swim. One of the days before she left, she save for me a pair of paints the she found in the dumpster outside, just because she thought it was my style. Note: It is probably the most awesome pair of pants I ever saw and will see! Everyone just loves everywhere I go!
Next morning, for no reason, when Alon arrives and sees me in the kitchen, he gives me a hug. Oh! I wish that was a ritual that we kept every morning…
Floor leaves and Molly comes back. She is another volunteer, from Taiwan, who was having some days off and travelling around. Molly is also a awesome person and I super enjoy my time with her. We get along very well and very fast. We were making jokes and laughing of daily and ordinary things often. It was awesome! That is why I got so sad when she had to leave.
In my first 2 free days followed (which surprisingly it is in my first week there) I decide to go for a trail in the Jordan River, called The Wild Jordan. It is all along the river and I should find a nice place where I can make my camping for the night. Alon explains everything to me. I prepare my backpack with food, lots of water (since it is super hot), my camping mattress and my tent. That it is about to be the first of a lot of disagreement I have with Alon and his “tips” about the trails. All in a very funny and sarcastic way, of course. Plus, it is nice to have this “thing” with him.
To get in there I need to hitchhike first but as all the times I had to hitchhike around here, Katzrin, it happens so easily, quickly and in a wonderful and surprisingly way (Do not get me wrong, hãm? I also hitchhike all over Israel and works pretty well. Just not as much as in Katzrin. It is magical! Serious! I wish the whole world it was like this. If to hitchhike it was like it is this area in the whole world, I believe at least half of the population of the planet would travel by hitchhiking. At least!). The trail makes me suffer a little bit. Not because it is difficult itself, no, but because it is so badly signalized and you get lost a lot of times, having to make your owl trail between loads of thorns! Oh yeah, because there are some hundred of different species of thorns in Israel. Apparently, 98% of the plants over here have thorns. Actually after this trip I become an specialist on them. Sarcasm. And there is this part of the trail, which continues all around a cliff, not too high, just a few metres (What?), but still, if not instantly deadly, at least long term deadly, since no one would find me for days, until I die of a interior infection because of all the bones broken and organs perforation… I cannot pass through with my backpack: it is too big and too heavy. So what do I do is put it in the middle of the way, cross, open it, and little by little, bringing the camera, bottles of water and the tent, to a safe place across, to just then go back for the whole much lighter backpack. It works! It takes me a long time but damn it! It works! I survive and I am a genius, Morty! So I could not find the “real nice place” to camp (Alon’s tips fault) but I got one also awesome. Plus, no wild boars walking around. They were huge, mama mia! Nice cold bath on the river and night, night. P.S.: my legs were destroyed from the thorns as you can see in the picture attached (drama queen because actually it was not that bad and, as I already told you, I quite like the way that bruises, scratches and scars look like in my skin).
Second day, the attempt to get back to the trail with a short cut obviously do not work and I get lost again but I use my good sense of location (yes, I do have one, shut up!) to find it back! In your face, Blair Which Trail! Not Black trail, Israel State, Blair! Then a lot more of making new trails, thorns, streams, thorns, cows, thorns, following the cows to find a way to cross the stream, thorns, thorns and thorns. I run out of water then. Beautiful! I need to cross an abandoned bridge, which is literately sealed, to get quickly in the road. Luckily, this wonderful guy picks me up very quickly and even drives me to the entrance of Katzrin, when he would actually turn long before. Do not get me wrong for all of this. I actually loved the trail and everything about it! In many moments it made me realize how strong we are and how further can we get when we already thought we could not (paraphrasing Shakespeare).
One day before Molly left, we exchanged shifts, so she could have a whole working day and a whole free day to be able to leave in the morning. I was a bit nervous but excited at the same moment on my whole working day, because I had never actually made a check in plus introduce the hostel to any gust. I would be by my own a whole day. And we would have six guests plus the two walk in we had. In the end, everything worked out pretty well and I felt quite important (silly!) because I was doing everything the whole day and I felt like the fucking owner of the place. Laugh. Even one of the guest thought I was the owner. Laugh.
Alon and Yael come back from the Sinai and when I first see Alon I cannot do anything of all I had planned for so many times in my mind. The hug, the jokes about the trail, the questions about his trip, nada! That makes me think how unfair life it is. Do not ask me why. At this point, waking up with his voice it became my secret little pleasure. His voice while he was talking with other people, just to make it clear. Unfortunately.
Another volunteer arrives. Florian is from Germany and he is zen. As he defines himself: “I am very spontaneous!”. We get along very well too and have some nice conversations about life. But for my speed and fast thinking, he is a bit slow. Like when I explain the job to him or when I try to get a solution for a problem. Then I actually realize that a lot of people who I met in my life, who are weed smokers, have this slow thoughts, having trouble to think fast for solutions or quickly answers. Coincidence?
I go to Gilabun waterfall by myself. I mean, Alon offers to drive me to the initial point so I do not need to hitchhike. Ohh! This trail is easy and clear so I do not get lost plus the waterfall it is amazing! My favorite for sure! It is thicker than Zavitan waterfall and there is plenty of space to chill (in the shade!) in front of it. The water is freezing cold but after a walk in the hot sun… I just love it! Everything is perfect! Coming back, I get a lift just in the parking lot, not even waiting or signalizing, and after that just another and another. In 15 minutes I was in Katzrin! Laugh. I love this place!
Two new volunteers arrive: Hannah, a wonderful young girl from Germany, super funny and we get along pretty well; and Gibson (Yamaha) a very cool guy from United States, who were teaching English in Israel for the last 10 months, we also had a lot of fun. The four of us together become a family. We are always eating together, going to the outdoors together, getting free beer and dinner together, receiving an wonderful meal from Flor after a long and starving journey together (it was actually a wet trail we did where I almost drowned if it was not for Hannah saving my life!), laughing a lot together. It is a great last week for me. P.S.: when Hannah first arrives, three guests become very close to Flor, her and me: Max, Marie, and another girl I cannot remember the name, sorry!. They actually stay just two nights with us in total but ended up around the hostel for four days. I even taught Max how to cook Pasta and how to make Turkish coffee. They were going out to camping and come back to chill with us. It was a very nice time we had. Such a great experience! I just wish a had more energy to follow them though, but working and organizing my stuff I was exhausted most of time.
All this time, I am working in art projects all over the Hostel: Painting a lot of things around and making everything more colorful; Cleaning, organizing, and bringing ideas to the outside areas, mainly the Chill Garden; Painting and decorating the tires to make new seats and tables; and I start to make new signs for the doors of the bedrooms. Unfortunately I was not able to finish them because even they look small and simple, I am not a professional so it takes me a lot of time to do it. And I even make extra hours out of my shift to finish three out of the five I should do. The idea it is to make they about sights of Katzrin but with a funny approach, because life is much better when you laugh. You can see them in the pictures below. I hope you understand the jokes. If you do not, just ask.
I am quite into Alon for all this time I spend in here too. It is a little hard because I hate it! Laugh. I cannot act normal, be myself, and sometimes it even affects my daily life with my new family. Why the hell people want to / like to fall in love? It sucks! I fell sometimes as he is trying to tell me something but since Ziyadh I told myself that if someone likes you, he or she will come and tell you. Enough with Mazes! If you like someone be honest and say so, otherwise is just not worth it.
I even consider to tell him. But I did not. Honestly I regret. I am quite sure nothing would happen but at least I would know for sure. That is the concept of my travels, right? Loki’s concept: Always do what you want and figure what is next. Otherwise you ill always keep wondering…
So I am about to leave and we will have my last night with a campfire (I like to think that Alon remembered in one of my first days when I told him I love campfires) and sangria. I am still thinking that if the opportunity show itself I will tell Alon about my feelings for him, which including concern about his life and future and what exactly his is doing with his life. He plays the guitar the whole night. What a wonderful voice he has! And call me crazy but there is something… I do not know how to explain but… And he sings so nice songs. He evens asks me which song I would like to hear. Of course I am stupid enough to not say anything strategic! Laugh. I could ask for Come away with me from Norah Jones, which I know he knows how to play. Or Johnny Cash, You are my sunshine. When he plays The Lumineers, Ho Hey, I play the rattle, and at the end of the song he says that the best thing of the song it was the rattle! Maybe he was just being ironic. One of the last songs he play is Save tonight, by Eagle-Eye-Sherry. Why do we like to trick ourselves, pretending in our minds and hearts that all this “signs” are real? I am leaving very early in the morning so they say goodbye to me just in front of the hostel when we are back. He gives me two hugs.
I stay outside for a while, lying down in the couch, hoping for some surprisingly appearance. But no one comes. Next morning I leave even later than I supposed to. Why? Even so, nothing. I do not see him again.
I am finishing this text on September the 1st. For a long time after I left Katzrin, I was thinking about Alon and a lot of things that could have happened between us. But then suddenly I start to realize this: even if anything had happened between us, with or without Yael in the middle, what after? Nothing is the answer. I know I do not want to be in a relationship for sure. I have my travels and this is my life now. It is what I want, what makes me happy, what I love! And I do not want to do with somebody else (apart from Robert Downey Jr… just kidding! Not even him… But maybe if he asked in a nice way… Kidding again!). I let happened again. I let my feelings over come my reasonable mind and that made me act in a different way and who knows what could have happened if I had not. I cannot let that happen again. Falling in love is for fools.
